In a loving and committed relationship but the sizzle is losing its fizzle? It is not uncommon for those in long-term partnerships to report that maintaining a steamy sex life becomes more challenging with each passing year. Where you once could barely stand to keep your hands off of each other, now you rarely even hold hands, let alone hitting the sheets as often as you’d like.
The truth is that sex, like all parts of a relationship, requires careful cultivation. It can become stale, and desire can wither if both parties don’t put a commitment of time and energy into keeping things hot in the bedroom. Even when loves still exists in a long-term relationship, those flames of desire can dim over time. Everyday pressures such as careers, aging parents, children, and a mortgage can interfere with the very core of your relationship—your intimacy.
This happens when taking care of all those influences becomes more important than your sex life. To make matters even worse, those outside pressures can crush a person’s sex drive. Today, we are sharing some secrets to help you to keep the fires burning (or reignite them if the embers are already cooling). Take a look.
1 – Give your partner compliments
Part of your previous sexual glory days was your instant attraction to each other. You showed appreciation for whatever attracted you to your partner by verbalizing compliments.
So what if she’s had three babies and has a little extra cushion these days? Find what you do love about your partner, right now, and give her a sincere compliment. She will be more apt to return the compliment to you, and you begin rekindle that first attraction by learning how and why you appreciate her right now.
2 – Try some cardio
If you or your partner just can’t manage the same physical response these days, consider adding three or four days of cardiovascular workouts each week. Your lack of intimacy could stem from a lack of blood flow to your sexual organs. However, robust cardio will literally help get the blood pumping again, restoring health to your organs. Dr. Michael Roizen, MD, claims, “Because blood flow is vital for sexual organs to function, whatever you can do to improve the health of your heart will improve your sex life.”
You’ll be physically primed for sexual activity if you have improved blood flow. If you want to take it over the top from a sexual performance standpoint, pair that cardio routine with a supplement like RestimDM. The results will amaze you (and your partner!).
3 – Share a weekly bubble bath
Slipping into a hot, bubbly bathtub once a week can be an at-home ritual that allows you and your partner to be in close and intimate quarters—and in a relaxing setting.
Set the stage with yummy, scented soaps and candles. Spend this time together in light, casual conversation. Wash each other without expectation of sex, and you might be surprised to find where it can lead you. You’ll begin to look forward to this routine—and the possibility of where it may end.
4 – Show affection more frequently
All people appreciate devotion. Little gestures such as holding hands, putting your arm around her, or snuggling up while watching tv, are typically necessary for women to feel good about their partner. Your partner wants to feel a bond with you—and physically showing affection is a great way for you to reinforce it.
The non-sexual physical connections you make can fuel her fire for you throughout the day. If you ignore her physically all day and all evening, you’re far less likely to be able to stir her up at night.
5 – Inquire about their desire
Communication is essential in every healthy relationship. It’s no different when you’re talking about sex! In a non-judgmental way, hold an honest, open session about both your sexual needs and your partner’s desires. You might uncover some hang-ups about body image, some unfulfilled fantasies, or other roadblocks that hold your partner back from a fuller sexual desire. Respond carefully and craft thoughtful responses. And, open up about your desires only after you have heard out your partner.
6 – Court your partner
Before you even think about foreplay (time enough for that later), court your partner. Send a text message or tuck a note into her work tote, call her to check on her, and maybe even take her to dinner and a movie like you used to do.
Set aside excuses. Kids, work emails, home repairs—they can all be put on hold for the evening. So hire a babysitter, cut off the smart phone, and leave the house so that you can give your partner your undivided attention.
The sexual tension was high during your initial courtship because you were each attentive to the other. Spending that time together was a priority. And, making sweet gestures was important. By doing a date night ritual, you are setting the stage to make your partner—and your whole relationship—a top priority again.
7 – Don’t rush foreplay
Another necessity for your partner? Foreplay! A lack of sufficient foreplay can be a barrier to satisfying sex. This is apparent when one partner can rev up in thirty seconds or less, and the other requires twenty minutes before even considering going all the way. And, don’t rush through the foreplay! Even if you are ready, it will serve to heighten your sensory experience once your partner is primed for sex. Use all your senses to get your partner in the mood. And, don’t stop until your partner is ready for sex. Otherwise, it could be game over for them and leave you sexually frustrated.
Fanning the dying flames of your once hot passion takes a commitment of your patience, time, and energy. However, once you have strengthened the bonds that you can only get by putting in all that hard work, your sex life will be better than ever.